Birth parents

Well I have spent the last 5 days writing letters to my childrens birth parents and making these really neat photo memory books. This was a lot harder then it sounds.

How do you thank someone for giving you the most precious gift on earth? How are you compassionate of their loss and still joyful of your gain? How do you express in words the level of gratitude you feel every time you look into those dark eyes and know their birth parents selflessly gave them life just to have to give them away?

It is so surreal. One of the main reasons I went with International adoption is because I thought the children were orphan and I wouldn't have to deal with birth parents. Now here I am 14 months later initiating contact. I would of never thought this is something I would want to do. My views have definitely changed. I guess the real aspect of meeting them in person and seeing the third world country they live in made my heart grow with compassion. I can not imagine having to give these two beautiful children up. We live in such a different world. In the US children are given up for adoption for many different reasons. In Vietnam it is mainly due to extreme poverty children are voluntarily relinquished for adoption. Keeping their child could turn into a death sentence for that child. How must that feel? Not really much of a choice.

Khai's birth mother gave us a letter at the G&R that we just recently had translated. Even though my views had changed my Husband did not want to initiate contact until he read this letter. How can we not after this letter? I cry every time I read it. She was so sweet and said all the right things. She thanks us for adopting him and says she was happy when she learned of our interest in adopting Khai (So strange because she seemed so cold to us in Vietnam on the day of the adoption). She tells us she is truly at peace giving Khai to us because she knows we will provide him a good home. The last paragraph of the letter is to Khai and she conveys her love and sorrow in giving him up. She says she will always remember him, his smile and his eyes. That he will always be in her heart. I can feel her pain.

We will also be sending monetary gifts to each set of birth parents equivalent to about a years wage in a rural area. We hope this will improve their life in some way and ease the hardships we know life has dealt them. At the end of the day it is so little to us but hopefully means much to them.

Edited: I think I found a way for you to view the memory books. They are almost finished. Take a look and let me know what you think.

http://photos.walmart.com/memorybook/ordertype=PMB/orderId=41251408/orderstatus=SHR/ownerid=10556457/upc=Photo+Hardcover++Memorybook+-+20cm+x+20cm/u_=1112397152357616_xfc3f3b825bc98d9_xfc1011_xfc11069200_xfc1000009_xfcWMPRD03_xfc1_xfcOjQMn_6UKwjr5jFUU0XWeg--/t_=10556457


http://photos.walmart.com/memorybook/ordertype=HMB/orderId=41252384/orderstatus=SHR/ownerid=10556457/upc=Hardcover+Memory+Book/u_=1112397161025209_xfc3f3b82500da90_xfc1011_xfc11069200_xfc1000009_xfcWMPRD03_xfc1_xfcLQJsc.PPxIcongXBag.KiQ--/t_=10556457