"Take an action each day that alleviates suffering in the world. Bring light into darkness."
-Angeles Arrien

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
--- Richard Bach

I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be just nobody [to no one]
--Mother Teresa

We were not separated at your birth.
It was the moment at which we began our journey toward each other
-Nancy McGuire Roche

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. -- Thomas L. Holdcroft

I feel really ground down right now. I feel like every time I turn around something is stopping this adoption from moving forward. I can not even seem to get to the home study visits.

First it was the typhoon that hit Vietnam in Da Nang and damaged the Red Cross Orphanage. I just have this feeling that is where my children are and I am so afraid this will some how delay things. Not to mention, I was a terrible mess and could not sleep worrying about the people and children of Vietnam. I was relieved to know all the children are safe but my heart is torn out knowing that the little they had is destroyed.

Next morning I wake to the message that CASI in Maryland (my home study agency) has decided to shut its doors for financial reasons. WHAT???? Luckily our social worker is great and convinced her old agency to take on her clients. Tell me this does not have the stink of DELAY written all over it!!

On Oct 15th contact social worker to see what delay is with paperwork (MD social worker can not schedule meeting with you until all paperwork is in hand). I thought we would be done with the Home study visits by this point.

I am trying to stay the course but feel so out of control and defeated sometimes.