"Take an action each day that alleviates suffering in the world. Bring light into darkness."
-Angeles Arrien

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
--- Richard Bach

I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be just nobody [to no one]
--Mother Teresa

We were not separated at your birth.
It was the moment at which we began our journey toward each other
-Nancy McGuire Roche

Monday, November 24, 2008

Can you look at these faces and not want to make a difference?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Adoption Awareness Month- My story

With it being adoption awareness month and I think it is important for me to post on something so close to my heart.

As most of you know my life changed in 2006 when we finally made the move to start our adoption. It is something that I had thought about for over 10 years. The seed was planted in my mind and grew in my mind and heart for over 10 years. I was one of those people that watched adoption story on TLC and always took a second glance at the store when I saw what looked to be a family grown through adoption. I never thought my desire to adopt would ever become a reality. For years and years we never seemed to be in the position to make it so. When I had looked into adoption in my early 20's I was drawn to China and went no farther. I knew they had a minimum age limit of 30 years old and thought that applied to all countries (I now know that's not true). I put it on the back burner and out of mind until I was in my 30's. After a tough pregnancy with my third child we thought we were done. A few years later we both decided we wanted one more child.

In 2005 I had a life and death scare that rocked us to our core. I was a week pre-op for a breast reduction and my pre-op blood work came back BAD. The surgeon called me and told me the surgery was off and to get to a DR tomorrow because I was very sick. When I went to the Dr the next day he said my white blood cell count was off the chart and there was only one explanation for it to be this sky high. He told me it was leukemia and the numbers showed I was very sick. I had to get to the oncologist right away. I was shocked. I could not believe this was happening. I was 34 yrs old and my life passed before my eyes. I did not sleep for weeks. I spent all night staring at my 2 yr old and crying because I would not see her grow up. It was the worst weeks of my life. All the things ran through my mind that I had never done and would always regret. All the things I had put on the back burner because I could do them tomorrow or next year. Now it didn't look like there would be a next year. In the mean time the oncologist ran full bodyscans and additional blood work.

Call it a maricle, Call it a lab screw up, We will never know. 2 weeks later my white blood cell count was back in normal range. The oncologist said after months running blood work it had to have been lab error. I did not have leukemia ( We did during the process find large nodules on my thyroid that were potentially cancerous and I had to have half of my Thyroid immediately removed. It was not cancer)

Talk about being handed your life back. During those 2 weeks nothing mattered to me but my family. I felt like going 24 hours a day so I could fill every minute with them. I didn't want to sleep because I knew I could never get those moments back. It didn't matter how much money I had in the bank, what kind of car I drove, how much I weighed or if the bills were paid on time. Talk about getting your priorities straight. Nothing like a near death experience to do it for you.

That is when we decided no more waiting till tomorrow what can be done today. No regrets.

We had been blessed with a generous life and it was our time to give back. Stop talking and start doing. Pay it forward as they would say. There was a child (or two) out there who needed a family and we wanted another child.

If you make a difference to one person, then that one person is enough.
Based on the story by Loren Eisley...

I awoke early, as I often did, just before sunrise to walk by the ocean's edge and greet the new day. As I moved through the misty dawn, I focused on a faint, far away motion. I saw a youth, bending and reaching and flailing arms, dancing on the beach, no doubt in celebration of the perfect day soon to begin. As I approached, I sadly realized that the youth was not dancing to the bay, but rather bending to sift through the debris left by the night's tide, stopping now and then to pick up a starfish and then standing, to heave it back into the sea.
I asked the youth the purpose of the effort. "The tide has washed the starfish onto the beach and they cannot return to the sea by themselves," the youth replied. "When the sun rises, they will die, unless I throw them back to the sea." As the youth explained, I surveyed the vast expanse of beach, strectching in both directions beyond my sight. Starfish littered the shore in numbers beyond calculation. The hopelessness of the youth's plan became clear to me and I countered, "But there are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up. Surely you cannot expect to make a difference." The youth paused briefly to consider my words, bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible. Turning to me he simply said, "I made a difference to that one."

I left the boy and went home, deep in thought of what the boy had said. I returned to the beach and spent the rest of the day helping the boy throw starfish in to the sea.

Please, If you have ever been drawn to make a difference in a childs life make the move now. Do not wait one more single day. I promise you that your life will be filled with more riches then you could ever imagine.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Pregnancy and adoption

So I was in need of a brain MRI (Will get into that later when I know more) but Dr would not okay it because I have not had a period in 5 months. I reassure him I am not pregnant (Have been 6 times, I think I know what it feels like) but he makes me go for blood drawn pregnancy test anyway. When I get to the lab the technician really floored me. She could not understand the writing so shes like "Your sure you are right?". I'm like "What?" Pregnant?""NO, I told my Dr I wasn't but he is making me do this". I was like "I don't think husband would be too happy since we just adopted Twins." Then here she goes with the typical stereotypical thoughts about adoption. She's like "Well then you know you ARE because that's what always happens after you adopt."

YEAH SURE!!! Well THANK YOU technician lady!! Could you make any more assumptions about my life and my adoption?

Why is it that people do not understand that not all people adopt because they can not conceive. Not everyone who adopts is sitting at home praying to get pregnant. Some of us choose to build our family through adoption even though we can conceive "OUR OWN". I don't think any of us (No matter what our reasons) consider it a second choice like most of the general public seems to view adoption. My babies are NOT a second choice, They were my first choice for my 4th and 5th child. I do not secretly wish I had conceived and carried "MY OWN" babies instead. Meliah and Khai were very much planned and wanted.

It was actually very scary. I would have embrace a pregnancy if it had been positive but in now way was I hoping it was. I have said it before and I will again. I am done birthing babies, but not necessarily done having children (Unless of course someone higher then me has a surprise in store for me). As of now, I plan and choose for all my future children (If there is anymore) to join our family through adoption. That is a choice I am making not something I am settling for.

P.S. It was negative!!

P.S.S. Watched Sex and the City movie last night and now know why everybody makes this assumption .

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Tragedy In Vietnam

I am saddened to read about the flooding in Northern Vietnam. What a tragedy in my childrens birth country. I am so thankful to have my children home and safe in my arms. I deeply loved the sweet people of Vietnam and it breaks my heart think of those poor people who already have so little suffering through such a tragedy. My heart and prayers go out to them and all the children of Vietnam. Let's pray for no more deaths. Below is an article :

HANOI, Vietnam - Forecasters predicted more rain for northern Vietnam on Tuesday as authorities said the death toll from days of flooding had risen to at least 66.
Eighteen of the deaths were in the capital Hanoi which has been lashed for days by the heaviest rainfall for 20 years, authorities said.
More rain was expected in Hanoi and several northern provinces Tuesday, but weather forecasters said it would be lighter than the downpours that soaked the capital over the weekend.
That would provide welcome relief to residents of Hanoi, where many streets were under three feet (a meter) of water and scores of businesses remained shuttered.
"I have been stuck in my house for the past three days," said Nguyen Manh Hung, a businessman who lives on a street in southern Hanoi where water reached his waist. "It's unbelievable to see people navigating the street in boats and by horse-drawn carriages."
Vietnamese television quoted Hanoi Mayor Nguyen The Thao as saying it would take the city four or five days to pump excess water into the Red River _ longer if heavy rains resume.
More than 20 inches (500 millimeters) of rain have fallen on the city, the heaviest in more than two decades.
Authorities reported six deaths in the northern provinces of Vinh Phuc, Bac Giang and Thai Nguyen on Monday.
The central Nghe An province was worst-hit after 10 more bodies were recovered Monday, bringing the death toll there to 22, said provincial disaster official Nguyen Dinh Thuy.
Rains continued to fall in the province, preventing rescue workers from accessing affected areas, Thuy said.
"Water is everywhere. Many parts of the province are still isolated," said Thuy. "We have to use motorboats to rush food aid to villagers, who have been in hunger for several days."
Floods have inundated more than 100,000 homes across northern and central Vietnam, the national committee for flood and storm control said on its Web site.
More than 590,000 acres (240,000 hectares) of rice and vegetables have been destroyed and about 100 miles (170 kilometers) of rural roads damaged, it said.