"Take an action each day that alleviates suffering in the world. Bring light into darkness."
-Angeles Arrien

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
--- Richard Bach

I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be just nobody [to no one]
--Mother Teresa

We were not separated at your birth.
It was the moment at which we began our journey toward each other
-Nancy McGuire Roche

Sunday, April 27, 2008

160 "Million" Orphans in the world

160 "Million" orphans in the world. "Thats more then half of the United States population growing up without Mommies and Daddies." What are YOU going to do about it?????

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Khai dancing to the Wiggles

Sorry, Turn your screen sideways.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Something to think about found on a fellow AP blog

All our babies know is the life they lived. Good or bad it was familiar and it was their life. This is powerful stuff and really makes you think.

For anyone considering adoption, please read this article. November 01,2006 / Cynthia Hockman-Chupp

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by soul mate, for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.
The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the worldthe person who will be with you for the rest of your life. The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face. But it's not him! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man?
Where is your beloved? You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back. . .even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay. But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him? Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.
You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact. Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it. More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?
You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried. The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you. You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy. The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to get along. You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.
Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair. Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.
He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black. You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.
People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness. Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.
Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

How would each of us handle all these changes?

How would this impact us for the rest of our lives?

What we are doing at 12 months

Khai at 12 Months
- Walks and runs everywhere. Never crawls anymore.
-Learned to walk in shoes
-Loves his Daddy very much. This is his night time buddy.
-Can climb up Staircase
-Can climb on/off furniture unassisted
-Can sign "Bottle" and "More" without being taught (Seemed to have no interest in signing so I stopped trying months ago)
-Gives BIG kisses
-Is very shy around strangers and will only go to people he knows
-Still only has 6 teeth
- loves to take all spices and kitchen utensils out of cabinets
-Likes the bath now
-Tolerates the carseat
- Loves the dishwasher
- Is still working on being gentle with Meliah. Now love taps have turned to hitting.

Meliah at 12 Months--
- Started walking. Takes about 4 steps but still crawls for main transportation
-Stands unassisted
-Can stand up from sitting position and sit back down all by self
-Can sign "More","All done","Eat"," Bottle", "I love you", and "Yes"
-Drooling like crazy
-Loves her Mommy very much. She is my night time buddy
-Can climb staircase
-Is becoming more comfortable with people outside of family that lives in our house
-Loves baths
-Hates the carseat now
- Still only has 2 teeth on bottom
- Has mastered being gentle with Khai. Rubs him on his head during diaper changes

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Happy 1st Birthday

Meliah and Khai had their first Birthday on Saturday March 29th. I can not believe my babies are 1. In so many ways they have come a long way in the past 5 months. It seems like yesterday we were in Vietnam picking them up. These past 5 months have gone by lightning fast. I think because I am so busy every second of the day. I don't think I am ready for them to move on to the toddler stage. Nobody really understands. When people see them they look like 12 month old toddlers but in my mind they are like 5 month old babies. I am still in that early mommy hood period. I still feel like a NEW Mommy. I want to shout to the world "Look at my NEW babies!!". Meliah is an enabler; she would let me hold her in my lap and cuddle from sun up to sundown and all night long, like a newborn baby, if I allowed her to. This would not do much for her growth and development but Mommy sure would love it.

Their first Birthday was a range of emotions for me. I was so excited it was their first Birthday but I also felt a wave of sadness wash over me every time I thought of it. With my Bio kids I always find myself recalling their birth on their Birthdays. It is my first instinct. I do it without thinking. Out of instinct and habit, When I searched my memory for Melih and Khai's birth nothing was there. At first I wondered why I could not recall and then I remembered they are adopted. It makes me so sad I did not see them enter this world. I knew this fact before I adopted but never thought it would bother me this much. I love them so much and want to have experienced every second of their lives. I hate that there are pieces of my children's lives I know nothing about. I probably will never know. I know this must sound so strange but I just don't ever think of them any different from my Bio kids. Not for one second of the day. It never runs through my mind except when we get the constant "Are they Twins? Did you get them from China??" question. I always think "How do they know they were adopted?". Then I remember DUHH? Your a family of Blonde hair and blue eyes with 2 Asian children who look nothing like any of you. When I look at them I do not even notice they are Asian anymore. It does not even occur to me.

Below is a slide show of their Birthday. We spent about 5 hours at a family play center. All 7 of us went. It was a big deal for the older kids to come along. We had a few family members with little kids meet us there. Then later that evening we had a cake with some family members.