"Take an action each day that alleviates suffering in the world. Bring light into darkness."
-Angeles Arrien

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
--- Richard Bach

I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be just nobody [to no one]
--Mother Teresa

We were not separated at your birth.
It was the moment at which we began our journey toward each other
-Nancy McGuire Roche

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Potty time

Picked up the two potties I ordered today. 21 months and officially potty training twins. We had an afternoon of watching Potty Power and Potty time (Much to the dismay of the teenagers). They were very excited about the potties and can both say potty.The understand the concept because, with twins, I have not used the potty once by myself since they came home. A couple months ago Meliah started getting the toilet paper ready for me. We set the potties up in the bathroom and had a go at it. They both enjoyed sitting on the potties but nothing. I decided to read then a few books. About halfway through the second book I hear a potty say " Congratulations you went potty". I was like, no way, it must have malfunctioned. I have them stand up and Khai's potty is full of peepee. We do a potty dance,high five,scream and jump around like idiots. He got a cool sticker and then went to find his Daddy. I sat with Meliah for quite some time but she started losing interest and playing with the potty pots. In the meantime Khai went into the kitchen and dropped 18 eggs on the floor. While I was dealing with this Meliah was still in the bathroom, diaperless, playing with the potties. I decide potty time is over and go to the bathroom to put diaper on Meliah and step in a puddle in front of the potties. Turns out Meliah went potty also, just not in the right spot. I struggle with if this really potty training when she pees on the floor in front of the potties? Do I give her a sticker? HUMMM.

P.S. Sorry no pictures, I didn't feel visuals would be needed for this post;)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Owl and the Sparrow

Watch this trailer on a great new movie that takes place in modern day Saigon.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

This Guatemalan princess needs your prayers

We have come a long way!!!

Well, I made it through the night. DH had to fly to Texas yesterday and will be gone until tonight. DH has traveled about 3 or 4 (A few of those trips for 3-5 nights) times since we got the twins. Those nights did not go very well. So bad in fact he had to stop taking contracts that required any travel or overnight stays. I am used to taking care of the kids by myself most days from wake up to between 9pm-1am (My Husbands schedule is not predictable). I am not thrilled to have to do it all by myself but what's a girl to do? Anyway there is something different about him not being home at all even if it is only for a few hours at night. As I have said before Khai is DH sleep buddy. He has serious sleep issues. I was pleasantly surprised last night. He let his big Sissy rock him to sleep around 11:30 PM and went to sleep in her bed with her until 5:ooAm. He didn't even cry he just wandered into my bedroom at 5:00 looking for Mommy (Didn't even ask for Daddy). We went and changed his diaper and got a full bottle. He wanted to stay downstairs and sleep in the chair and watch TV (like his Daddy does) but I told him we had to go back to bed. He went back to bed, snuggled with me and fell back to sleep until 9:30 am.

Now this is the same kid who 6 months ago would wake up 8-10 times a night screaming bloody murder and would fight you when you tried to comfort him. I literally had knots in my stomach when bedtime would come around; it was such an unpleasant experience. He would hit, scream, push away, arch his back and fight sleep to all ends. It broke my heart every time. I felt like my own child hated me. I know he didn't and it is common for adopted children to have sleep issues but it is still so hard for a Mother to not take this personally. No matter how much you read, until it is actually staring you in the face you don't know how your going to react or feel. I wanted to be able to comfort my child and it killed me that he would not accept that comfort. It turns out a lot of babies who came out of Khai's same orphanage had severe sleep issues just like him. Weird Huh?? The kicker with Khai was these issues lasted for over a year in some shape or form. It also didn't help that we were dealing with two babies and that is exhausting just by itself. Now Meliah is the exact opposite. She is velcro baby. There is no problem comforting her but she must be held at all times. She must be touching me the whole time she sleeps. If almost as if she thinks I am going to disappear if she does not keep her eye on me. Now imagine trying to get these exact opposite personalities to sleep at the same time. Somebodys not going to be happy.

It was so great to have him just lay down and willingly snuggle with his Mama this time. I have waited so long for this.We have come a long way!!!

P.S. DH ended up being gone 4 days.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

So true,So true

So true,So true!!! Take it from the Mother of a 17 and 3/4 year old.(Well I don't miss the mess because I still have it times two little tornadoes;)

“If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly…” ~Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Ensign, Nov. 2008

We pray for the children

We pray for the children
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
who never "counted potatoes,"
who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for the children
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can't find bread to steal,
who don't have rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.

We Pray for the Children
who spend their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
who never rinse out the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who aren't spoiled by anybody,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for the children
Who want to be carried, and for those who must,
Who we never give up on and for those who don't get a second chance.

We pray for those children that we smother with kisses,
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

adapted from a prayer by Ina Hughes

Something to think about

On the street I saw a small girl cold and shivering in a thin dress, with little hope of a decent meal. I became angry and said to God: "Why did you permit this? Why don't you do something about this?For a while God said nothing, then he replied: "I certainly did something....I made you."

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Birth parents

Well I have spent the last 5 days writing letters to my childrens birth parents and making these really neat photo memory books. This was a lot harder then it sounds.

How do you thank someone for giving you the most precious gift on earth? How are you compassionate of their loss and still joyful of your gain? How do you express in words the level of gratitude you feel every time you look into those dark eyes and know their birth parents selflessly gave them life just to have to give them away?

It is so surreal. One of the main reasons I went with International adoption is because I thought the children were orphan and I wouldn't have to deal with birth parents. Now here I am 14 months later initiating contact. I would of never thought this is something I would want to do. My views have definitely changed. I guess the real aspect of meeting them in person and seeing the third world country they live in made my heart grow with compassion. I can not imagine having to give these two beautiful children up. We live in such a different world. In the US children are given up for adoption for many different reasons. In Vietnam it is mainly due to extreme poverty children are voluntarily relinquished for adoption. Keeping their child could turn into a death sentence for that child. How must that feel? Not really much of a choice.

Khai's birth mother gave us a letter at the G&R that we just recently had translated. Even though my views had changed my Husband did not want to initiate contact until he read this letter. How can we not after this letter? I cry every time I read it. She was so sweet and said all the right things. She thanks us for adopting him and says she was happy when she learned of our interest in adopting Khai (So strange because she seemed so cold to us in Vietnam on the day of the adoption). She tells us she is truly at peace giving Khai to us because she knows we will provide him a good home. The last paragraph of the letter is to Khai and she conveys her love and sorrow in giving him up. She says she will always remember him, his smile and his eyes. That he will always be in her heart. I can feel her pain.

We will also be sending monetary gifts to each set of birth parents equivalent to about a years wage in a rural area. We hope this will improve their life in some way and ease the hardships we know life has dealt them. At the end of the day it is so little to us but hopefully means much to them.

Edited: I think I found a way for you to view the memory books. They are almost finished. Take a look and let me know what you think.



Sunday, January 04, 2009

Look how much our family has changed

Our Holiday Card 2008
Our Holiday Card 2006

Saturday, January 03, 2009

We went through Saige's books and stuffed animals the other day and I was so proud of her. She donated five big garbage bags full. She knew they would go to kids that had less then her and she was excited about that. I was glad to see her caring about people less fortunate then her already. Hopefully we have started a life long passion to give to charity. She had to kiss and hug every one of the 50 stuffed animals we gave away, It was so funny!!

Friday, January 02, 2009

Remember my post about the professional photo session from H*LL? Well here they are. What do you think?:

A few of my favorite

A boy and his Sissy!!!