"Take an action each day that alleviates suffering in the world. Bring light into darkness."
-Angeles Arrien

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
--- Richard Bach

I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be just nobody [to no one]
--Mother Teresa

We were not separated at your birth.
It was the moment at which we began our journey toward each other
-Nancy McGuire Roche

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Pregnancy and adoption

So I was in need of a brain MRI (Will get into that later when I know more) but Dr would not okay it because I have not had a period in 5 months. I reassure him I am not pregnant (Have been 6 times, I think I know what it feels like) but he makes me go for blood drawn pregnancy test anyway. When I get to the lab the technician really floored me. She could not understand the writing so shes like "Your sure you are right?". I'm like "What?" Pregnant?""NO, I told my Dr I wasn't but he is making me do this". I was like "I don't think husband would be too happy since we just adopted Twins." Then here she goes with the typical stereotypical thoughts about adoption. She's like "Well then you know you ARE because that's what always happens after you adopt."

YEAH SURE!!! Well THANK YOU technician lady!! Could you make any more assumptions about my life and my adoption?

Why is it that people do not understand that not all people adopt because they can not conceive. Not everyone who adopts is sitting at home praying to get pregnant. Some of us choose to build our family through adoption even though we can conceive "OUR OWN". I don't think any of us (No matter what our reasons) consider it a second choice like most of the general public seems to view adoption. My babies are NOT a second choice, They were my first choice for my 4th and 5th child. I do not secretly wish I had conceived and carried "MY OWN" babies instead. Meliah and Khai were very much planned and wanted.

It was actually very scary. I would have embrace a pregnancy if it had been positive but in now way was I hoping it was. I have said it before and I will again. I am done birthing babies, but not necessarily done having children (Unless of course someone higher then me has a surprise in store for me). As of now, I plan and choose for all my future children (If there is anymore) to join our family through adoption. That is a choice I am making not something I am settling for.

P.S. It was negative!!

P.S.S. Watched Sex and the City movie last night and now know why everybody makes this assumption .


taylorchloejake said...

I totally agree with you! We adopted as a FIRST choice. And I was pregnant at the time. It does get annoying because everyone looks at our family and assumes we adopted then got pregnant right away. I am constantly getting that line. It's nice to know there are others out there like us who CHOOSE to build their family through adoption. It's a wonderful thing to experience and we will do it again!

Ange said...

Everyone makes comments like this to me. They just assume that after we adopted owen we were relaxed and got pregnant. Adopting Owen was a choice we made as a couple because that's how we wanted to start our family. No other reason behind it. It is so frustrating to deal with comments like this. The most frustrating part is that I knew the comments would come as soon as we were pregnant.

Thanks for the comment on my blog.

You have a very beautiful family.