Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Spa Day
The two little girls love to play Spa day with Mommy and Khai thinks he is just one of the girls. Drives my Husband crazy but what a I supposed to do?
Pride and Joy
My 17 year old son was home at lunch today, before he heads to the local college for classes, and he out of nowhere asks how much the twins adoption cost. I gave him a ballpark figure and he wanted to know if it that was each child. I was putting away paperwork in my office the other day and was getting ready to file a cost breakdown from my agency so I got the breakdown and showed him. He was like a typical 17 year old and went no further. It was an unusual question so I probed him on why he inquired. I thought maybe someone had asked him about our adoption or he was doing a project at school. Like a 17 year old boy he nonchalantly said "You know I have been interested in adopting and I was just wondering". Now years ago he had mentioned an interest in adopting, as a single father, a little boy from Asia that he was going to train to be a Ninja. Was I supposed to take this seriously? All kidding aside, I know he had a serious interest years ago but had not mentioned it in years. I have to tell you when he said it my heart swelled with pride and joy. Nothing my kids could do in this life would bring me more happiness. I hope it is something that stays in his heart and grows and grows. I know he plans on choosing a career that he loves and fulfills him emotionally but will not have large monetary gain. He wants to live a simple life and is not into material possessions. He wants to build a cob house and power his house with solar energy. He has simple dreams but I don't know if adoption is something that will financially be within his grasp; This breaks my heart. I will do whatever is in my power to help him, or any of my other children, fulfill the dream of adopting a child in the future. We did not have much emotional support (None really) and defiantly no financial support (Not that I wanted or expected it), from our families, so I will make sure to support my children in every way possible if they so desire. I will rejoice with them just as I would for a biological child; It makes no difference in my eyes and that will always be known. I hope our adoption does make a difference in many generations to come. I hope it is a catalyst for change and opens some hearts and minds to adoption.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Pulls at my heart strings; How about you?
Watch these videos and you will know why I chose to adopt from Vietnam (and still have such a passion for the children left behind); Why I choose to continue sponsoring children and families in spite of the economic downturn in the US (Annual income $250-300 dollars a year per family in Vietnam; Can you imagine?). Why my heart aches for my childrens birth families and what they must endure on a daily basis. If it pulls at your heart the way it does mine you will understand. When you go to a third world country,to bring your children home, and see such poverty you most likely will never be the same again. You could come home to your cushy lifestyle and try and forget, but I don't see how. What amazed me about Vietnam was our poorest person in the US is much better off then a middle/upper class person in Vietnam. Now if we measure wealth in kindness then the people of Vietnam would be way richer then we are. The people of Vietnam were a pure joy; I really did not expect this. I wasn't sure if there would be animosity left over from the war but this was not the case at all; almost the opposite. We only encountered one negative experience (from a very elderly lady with a machete) in five weeks. I really enjoyed the experience and the people. Such a love of babies and children that I have never seen anywhere. If the flight was not so god awful terrible, I would go back at least once a year. I will be back, just not sure when.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Potty time
Picked up the two potties I ordered today. 21 months and officially potty training twins. We had an afternoon of watching Potty Power and Potty time (Much to the dismay of the teenagers). They were very excited about the potties and can both say potty.The understand the concept because, with twins, I have not used the potty once by myself since they came home. A couple months ago Meliah started getting the toilet paper ready for me. We set the potties up in the bathroom and had a go at it. They both enjoyed sitting on the potties but nothing. I decided to read then a few books. About halfway through the second book I hear a potty say " Congratulations you went potty". I was like, no way, it must have malfunctioned. I have them stand up and Khai's potty is full of peepee. We do a potty dance,high five,scream and jump around like idiots. He got a cool sticker and then went to find his Daddy. I sat with Meliah for quite some time but she started losing interest and playing with the potty pots. In the meantime Khai went into the kitchen and dropped 18 eggs on the floor. While I was dealing with this Meliah was still in the bathroom, diaperless, playing with the potties. I decide potty time is over and go to the bathroom to put diaper on Meliah and step in a puddle in front of the potties. Turns out Meliah went potty also, just not in the right spot. I struggle with if this really potty training when she pees on the floor in front of the potties? Do I give her a sticker? HUMMM.
P.S. Sorry no pictures, I didn't feel visuals would be needed for this post;)
P.S. Sorry no pictures, I didn't feel visuals would be needed for this post;)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
We have come a long way!!!
Well, I made it through the night. DH had to fly to Texas yesterday and will be gone until tonight. DH has traveled about 3 or 4 (A few of those trips for 3-5 nights) times since we got the twins. Those nights did not go very well. So bad in fact he had to stop taking contracts that required any travel or overnight stays. I am used to taking care of the kids by myself most days from wake up to between 9pm-1am (My Husbands schedule is not predictable). I am not thrilled to have to do it all by myself but what's a girl to do? Anyway there is something different about him not being home at all even if it is only for a few hours at night. As I have said before Khai is DH sleep buddy. He has serious sleep issues. I was pleasantly surprised last night. He let his big Sissy rock him to sleep around 11:30 PM and went to sleep in her bed with her until 5:ooAm. He didn't even cry he just wandered into my bedroom at 5:00 looking for Mommy (Didn't even ask for Daddy). We went and changed his diaper and got a full bottle. He wanted to stay downstairs and sleep in the chair and watch TV (like his Daddy does) but I told him we had to go back to bed. He went back to bed, snuggled with me and fell back to sleep until 9:30 am.
Now this is the same kid who 6 months ago would wake up 8-10 times a night screaming bloody murder and would fight you when you tried to comfort him. I literally had knots in my stomach when bedtime would come around; it was such an unpleasant experience. He would hit, scream, push away, arch his back and fight sleep to all ends. It broke my heart every time. I felt like my own child hated me. I know he didn't and it is common for adopted children to have sleep issues but it is still so hard for a Mother to not take this personally. No matter how much you read, until it is actually staring you in the face you don't know how your going to react or feel. I wanted to be able to comfort my child and it killed me that he would not accept that comfort. It turns out a lot of babies who came out of Khai's same orphanage had severe sleep issues just like him. Weird Huh?? The kicker with Khai was these issues lasted for over a year in some shape or form. It also didn't help that we were dealing with two babies and that is exhausting just by itself. Now Meliah is the exact opposite. She is velcro baby. There is no problem comforting her but she must be held at all times. She must be touching me the whole time she sleeps. If almost as if she thinks I am going to disappear if she does not keep her eye on me. Now imagine trying to get these exact opposite personalities to sleep at the same time. Somebodys not going to be happy.
It was so great to have him just lay down and willingly snuggle with his Mama this time. I have waited so long for this.We have come a long way!!!
P.S. DH ended up being gone 4 days.
Now this is the same kid who 6 months ago would wake up 8-10 times a night screaming bloody murder and would fight you when you tried to comfort him. I literally had knots in my stomach when bedtime would come around; it was such an unpleasant experience. He would hit, scream, push away, arch his back and fight sleep to all ends. It broke my heart every time. I felt like my own child hated me. I know he didn't and it is common for adopted children to have sleep issues but it is still so hard for a Mother to not take this personally. No matter how much you read, until it is actually staring you in the face you don't know how your going to react or feel. I wanted to be able to comfort my child and it killed me that he would not accept that comfort. It turns out a lot of babies who came out of Khai's same orphanage had severe sleep issues just like him. Weird Huh?? The kicker with Khai was these issues lasted for over a year in some shape or form. It also didn't help that we were dealing with two babies and that is exhausting just by itself. Now Meliah is the exact opposite. She is velcro baby. There is no problem comforting her but she must be held at all times. She must be touching me the whole time she sleeps. If almost as if she thinks I am going to disappear if she does not keep her eye on me. Now imagine trying to get these exact opposite personalities to sleep at the same time. Somebodys not going to be happy.
It was so great to have him just lay down and willingly snuggle with his Mama this time. I have waited so long for this.We have come a long way!!!
P.S. DH ended up being gone 4 days.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
So true,So true
So true,So true!!! Take it from the Mother of a 17 and 3/4 year old.(Well I don't miss the mess because I still have it times two little tornadoes;)
“If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly…” ~Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Ensign, Nov. 2008
“If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly…” ~Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Ensign, Nov. 2008
We pray for the children
We pray for the children
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
who never "counted potatoes,"
who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for the children
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.
And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can't find bread to steal,
who don't have rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.
We Pray for the Children
who spend their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
who never rinse out the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who aren't spoiled by anybody,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for the children
Who want to be carried, and for those who must,
Who we never give up on and for those who don't get a second chance.
We pray for those children that we smother with kisses,
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
adapted from a prayer by Ina Hughes
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
who never "counted potatoes,"
who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for the children
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.
And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can't find bread to steal,
who don't have rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.
We Pray for the Children
who spend their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
who never rinse out the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who aren't spoiled by anybody,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for the children
Who want to be carried, and for those who must,
Who we never give up on and for those who don't get a second chance.
We pray for those children that we smother with kisses,
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
adapted from a prayer by Ina Hughes
Something to think about
On the street I saw a small girl cold and shivering in a thin dress, with little hope of a decent meal. I became angry and said to God: "Why did you permit this? Why don't you do something about this?For a while God said nothing, then he replied: "I certainly did something....I made you."
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Birth parents
Well I have spent the last 5 days writing letters to my childrens birth parents and making these really neat photo memory books. This was a lot harder then it sounds.
How do you thank someone for giving you the most precious gift on earth? How are you compassionate of their loss and still joyful of your gain? How do you express in words the level of gratitude you feel every time you look into those dark eyes and know their birth parents selflessly gave them life just to have to give them away?
It is so surreal. One of the main reasons I went with International adoption is because I thought the children were orphan and I wouldn't have to deal with birth parents. Now here I am 14 months later initiating contact. I would of never thought this is something I would want to do. My views have definitely changed. I guess the real aspect of meeting them in person and seeing the third world country they live in made my heart grow with compassion. I can not imagine having to give these two beautiful children up. We live in such a different world. In the US children are given up for adoption for many different reasons. In Vietnam it is mainly due to extreme poverty children are voluntarily relinquished for adoption. Keeping their child could turn into a death sentence for that child. How must that feel? Not really much of a choice.
Khai's birth mother gave us a letter at the G&R that we just recently had translated. Even though my views had changed my Husband did not want to initiate contact until he read this letter. How can we not after this letter? I cry every time I read it. She was so sweet and said all the right things. She thanks us for adopting him and says she was happy when she learned of our interest in adopting Khai (So strange because she seemed so cold to us in Vietnam on the day of the adoption). She tells us she is truly at peace giving Khai to us because she knows we will provide him a good home. The last paragraph of the letter is to Khai and she conveys her love and sorrow in giving him up. She says she will always remember him, his smile and his eyes. That he will always be in her heart. I can feel her pain.
We will also be sending monetary gifts to each set of birth parents equivalent to about a years wage in a rural area. We hope this will improve their life in some way and ease the hardships we know life has dealt them. At the end of the day it is so little to us but hopefully means much to them.
Edited: I think I found a way for you to view the memory books. They are almost finished. Take a look and let me know what you think.
http://photos.walmart.com/memorybook/ordertype=PMB/orderId=41251408/orderstatus=SHR/ownerid=10556457/upc=Photo+Hardcover++Memorybook+-+20cm+x+20cm/u_=1112397152357616_xfc3f3b825bc98d9_xfc1011_xfc11069200_xfc1000009_xfcWMPRD03_xfc1_xfcOjQMn_6UKwjr5jFUU0XWeg--/t_=10556457
http://photos.walmart.com/memorybook/ordertype=HMB/orderId=41252384/orderstatus=SHR/ownerid=10556457/upc=Hardcover+Memory+Book/u_=1112397161025209_xfc3f3b82500da90_xfc1011_xfc11069200_xfc1000009_xfcWMPRD03_xfc1_xfcLQJsc.PPxIcongXBag.KiQ--/t_=10556457
How do you thank someone for giving you the most precious gift on earth? How are you compassionate of their loss and still joyful of your gain? How do you express in words the level of gratitude you feel every time you look into those dark eyes and know their birth parents selflessly gave them life just to have to give them away?
It is so surreal. One of the main reasons I went with International adoption is because I thought the children were orphan and I wouldn't have to deal with birth parents. Now here I am 14 months later initiating contact. I would of never thought this is something I would want to do. My views have definitely changed. I guess the real aspect of meeting them in person and seeing the third world country they live in made my heart grow with compassion. I can not imagine having to give these two beautiful children up. We live in such a different world. In the US children are given up for adoption for many different reasons. In Vietnam it is mainly due to extreme poverty children are voluntarily relinquished for adoption. Keeping their child could turn into a death sentence for that child. How must that feel? Not really much of a choice.
Khai's birth mother gave us a letter at the G&R that we just recently had translated. Even though my views had changed my Husband did not want to initiate contact until he read this letter. How can we not after this letter? I cry every time I read it. She was so sweet and said all the right things. She thanks us for adopting him and says she was happy when she learned of our interest in adopting Khai (So strange because she seemed so cold to us in Vietnam on the day of the adoption). She tells us she is truly at peace giving Khai to us because she knows we will provide him a good home. The last paragraph of the letter is to Khai and she conveys her love and sorrow in giving him up. She says she will always remember him, his smile and his eyes. That he will always be in her heart. I can feel her pain.
We will also be sending monetary gifts to each set of birth parents equivalent to about a years wage in a rural area. We hope this will improve their life in some way and ease the hardships we know life has dealt them. At the end of the day it is so little to us but hopefully means much to them.
Edited: I think I found a way for you to view the memory books. They are almost finished. Take a look and let me know what you think.
http://photos.walmart.com/memorybook/ordertype=PMB/orderId=41251408/orderstatus=SHR/ownerid=10556457/upc=Photo+Hardcover++Memorybook+-+20cm+x+20cm/u_=1112397152357616_xfc3f3b825bc98d9_xfc1011_xfc11069200_xfc1000009_xfcWMPRD03_xfc1_xfcOjQMn_6UKwjr5jFUU0XWeg--/t_=10556457
http://photos.walmart.com/memorybook/ordertype=HMB/orderId=41252384/orderstatus=SHR/ownerid=10556457/upc=Hardcover+Memory+Book/u_=1112397161025209_xfc3f3b82500da90_xfc1011_xfc11069200_xfc1000009_xfcWMPRD03_xfc1_xfcLQJsc.PPxIcongXBag.KiQ--/t_=10556457
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Saturday, January 03, 2009
We went through Saige's books and stuffed animals the other day and I was so proud of her. She donated five big garbage bags full. She knew they would go to kids that had less then her and she was excited about that. I was glad to see her caring about people less fortunate then her already. Hopefully we have started a life long passion to give to charity. She had to kiss and hug every one of the 50 stuffed animals we gave away, It was so funny!!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Good bye Larry Girl!!
As I said in the last post we had to stay at home on Christmas because our chocolate lab is very sick. We are pretty sure she is dying and thought it might happen today. This is very sad because we have had her for almost 17 years, Almost as long as our oldest child. She is a very good with the kids and they all love her very much. My children are devastated. We are bringing her to the vet in the morning, if she makes it through the night, and we expect them to want to put her to sleep!! This photo was taken today. Good bye Larry Girl!!
Edited: Well it happened naturally at 1:00 in the morning. At least it was not on Christmas. She passed away peacefully with her Daddy rubbing her head. It is a sad morning here for our kids and family. 17 years is a long time. It seems like it was just yesterday her and Pman were digging tunnels, searching for treasure, in our backyard in 29 Palms.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Christmas was wonderful!! It is so great to have all 5 children finally together and to be settled into our life. I just loved seeing the babies actually, kind of, understand the concept of Christmas and presents. Last year we only had them for less then 2 months and had only been home a few weeks, It was very overwhelming to say the least. So very different this year. They opened their presents and enjoyed the whole thing. They are so attached and settled in now. It is such a wonderful feeling. We stuck close to home today but I will talk about that in the next post because it is a downer. Merry Christmas to all our followers!!!
Christmas Eve 2008
The kids put out cookies and milk on Christmas Eve. They also left our traditional letter to Santa. It was so fun this year to read over the old letters left in the past by the big kids. It was a late night, We could not get the 3 little one's in bed before midnight. I tried but they were so full of energy, I thought Santa would never be able to come!!!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Decorating the tree 2008
We decorated the tree tonight, It was the first real tree for the babies. We got home a few days before Thanksgiving last year after being gone 5 weeks. I had no energy for the whole Holiday thing last year with 2 new babies adjusting and not sleeping. A lot has changed in the last year, Well it is 11:30 pm and they are still both up and running around so maybe not much has changed.
Adoption
Stay tuned for the before and after pictures at the end. I know quite a few of these Vietnam kiddos and follow some of their blogs.
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